Dear Grandpa,
Here you lie, tired, ill, and weak. Funny, because you were never tired, ill nor weak as long as I knew you. You were steady, strong and usually silent except for the odd squeaky kiss. But in that silence we all knew there was love. One thing I have come to understand about life is that each day we all plant seeds in the hopes of a return; weather that return is grapes on the vine, success at work, love and security in our homes or the health of our children. Just as you, Farmer Tucker, planted seeds each spring in the hopes of harvesting a good crop each fall. When I discussed this idea one day with Garrett, he pointed out that this analogy was interesting but that there was a lot more work to do than just plant a few seeds and expect a full harvest. He was right.
Before you plant you must make sure your soil is good, rich and healthy. You may have to pick rocks...whatever it takes to ensure your soil is prepared and ready for the seeds. Grandpa, you broke the ground for all of us. You prepared the soil for us to grow. You sacrificed and worked hard each day to take care of and make the best use of the ground, the earth, the land, you were responsible for.
Each spring you laid the rows and placed the seeds. What faith you must have had each year knowing that your lively hood depended on what the weather would be. You protected those seeds as much as you could from animals and pests. You watered the seeds when you could but really counted on and trusted that the sun would shine and the rain would fall.
Each year you experienced the circle of life. You watched calves being born; how many times did you help with those births? And then you took your cattle in for slaughter. You watched the seasons change, harvested your crops and reaped the rewards of your labours.
My generation is a generation of seekers. You, Grandpa always knew who you were. You were a farmer, you were the planter, cultivator; the grower. You did not need a bucket list; you just woke each day and did what needed to be done that day. Don’t get me wrong, we all cheered for you in the Alberta Senior’s Race and were so proud of the cabin you built and especially how you built it. You taught us that nothing was impossible...of course with hard work, preparation and a vision of success. So, this generation of seekers; to all of my cousins...(to you) I would say: Know who you are. Prepare your soil, plant your seeds, protect and cultivate, have faith that that the rain will fall and the sun will shine, accept the circle of life and enjoy the harvest when it comes. Have a vision, work hard and enjoy the victory. Know how fortunate you are to have strong roots grown in rich, healthy, carefully cultivated soil.
Grandpa, your seeds were planted and cared for not only in your farming and gardening but in each of us who surround you (today). We are the fruits of your labour, and we thank you. Our roots are deep because of you. We have learned from you and will continue to grow, accept and know who we are so that when our day too comes, we can look back and be proud of our own yield as you should be.
When we remember others who have passed, it is often the sound of someone’s laughter or maybe a song will bring that person to mind, I have such peace knowing that when I am alone or in need of strength, when there is silence, I will remember you.
Here you lie, tired, ill, and weak. Funny, because you were never tired, ill nor weak as long as I knew you. You were steady, strong and usually silent except for the odd squeaky kiss. But in that silence we all knew there was love. One thing I have come to understand about life is that each day we all plant seeds in the hopes of a return; weather that return is grapes on the vine, success at work, love and security in our homes or the health of our children. Just as you, Farmer Tucker, planted seeds each spring in the hopes of harvesting a good crop each fall. When I discussed this idea one day with Garrett, he pointed out that this analogy was interesting but that there was a lot more work to do than just plant a few seeds and expect a full harvest. He was right.
Before you plant you must make sure your soil is good, rich and healthy. You may have to pick rocks...whatever it takes to ensure your soil is prepared and ready for the seeds. Grandpa, you broke the ground for all of us. You prepared the soil for us to grow. You sacrificed and worked hard each day to take care of and make the best use of the ground, the earth, the land, you were responsible for.
Each spring you laid the rows and placed the seeds. What faith you must have had each year knowing that your lively hood depended on what the weather would be. You protected those seeds as much as you could from animals and pests. You watered the seeds when you could but really counted on and trusted that the sun would shine and the rain would fall.
Each year you experienced the circle of life. You watched calves being born; how many times did you help with those births? And then you took your cattle in for slaughter. You watched the seasons change, harvested your crops and reaped the rewards of your labours.
My generation is a generation of seekers. You, Grandpa always knew who you were. You were a farmer, you were the planter, cultivator; the grower. You did not need a bucket list; you just woke each day and did what needed to be done that day. Don’t get me wrong, we all cheered for you in the Alberta Senior’s Race and were so proud of the cabin you built and especially how you built it. You taught us that nothing was impossible...of course with hard work, preparation and a vision of success. So, this generation of seekers; to all of my cousins...(to you) I would say: Know who you are. Prepare your soil, plant your seeds, protect and cultivate, have faith that that the rain will fall and the sun will shine, accept the circle of life and enjoy the harvest when it comes. Have a vision, work hard and enjoy the victory. Know how fortunate you are to have strong roots grown in rich, healthy, carefully cultivated soil.
Grandpa, your seeds were planted and cared for not only in your farming and gardening but in each of us who surround you (today). We are the fruits of your labour, and we thank you. Our roots are deep because of you. We have learned from you and will continue to grow, accept and know who we are so that when our day too comes, we can look back and be proud of our own yield as you should be.
When we remember others who have passed, it is often the sound of someone’s laughter or maybe a song will bring that person to mind, I have such peace knowing that when I am alone or in need of strength, when there is silence, I will remember you.
Integrity...
These days it seems that integrity is hard to find, and even harder to keep. If you are lucky enough to have even one friend who has integrity, hang onto that friend because you are blessed. I am lucky to have a couple of people in my life who have been strong enough to maintain their integrity through some of the most difficult moments, but sadly, they can only be counted on one hand. Being a writer, I think, makes it is easier to keep your integrity, because it's your job to tell the truth. I believe that nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Therefore I also have high expectations when it comes to honesty in others.
I don't like to think of myself as naive, but I do choose to see to see the good in people. Deep down I know in my heart when someone is lying to me, most times I see it as small and let it slide. The lesson I learned the hard way, though, is that when someone can lie to others or to you about small things and get away with it, it is only a matter of time before the lies build as does the inevitable hurt that it brings about. Is it best to be bold and call someone on a little white lie then? Funny, because I always thought that it wasn't worth it...not anymore. Not for me "anywise". The hurt in the end is not worth allowing the lies to continue. It makes me wonder why I let the lies go on for so long before? Was it because I realize that we are all only human and that nobody's perfect? Or maybe it was because of my desire to be loved by my friend and therefore chose to put blinders on because of my fear of being alone. Either way, my big wall of hard lessons has taught me to start calling bullshit when I see it.
One of my favorite songs, Missing an Angel, by Johnny Reid, has a line in it that says "Ain't it funny how fate never leaves it too late". Although it may feel a little too late at the time when the lies are brought to surface, believe that there was a reason that person was in your life for a time and then just thank God that it's over. When the truth comes out, it may be heart wrenching, but hang onto the fact that at least fate never left it too late, and now you know. People come and go in your life but a true friend will always be by your side. In this life the best that I can hope for is that when it is my time to leave this world, the one by my side holding my hand will be the one with the most integrity. Finding out that your best friend has been staring at you in the face and lying, might make you wonder if there is anyone left out there with an ounce of integrity, but letting go of a bad relationship is a step forward to finding a friend who does.
